This Christmas Song's Been Banned In 70 Countries

 

This Christmas song’s been banned in 70 countries

So I hope you’ll understand why I can’t sing it twice

 

It used to be a Christmas Carol  then Carol became Carl

So the trans community posted on Facebook…

and it got banned… in 70 countries

and a protest march is planned for Christmas Eve

 

I sang  shepherds watched their flocks by night so PETA drafted a press release

saying shepherds mistreat their sheep

and wanted it banned… in 70 countries

They said beasts of sea or land should not be on your plate

 

The song was happy and merry toy soldiers, gifts, stockings and fairies

then the Pride people took exception

and wanted it banned… in 70 countries

I don’t think they understand, cause they banned the cops too

 

The green party’s saving the trees

Jenny Craig says Santa’s obese

Snowmen want Frosty year round

Meth heads want their front teeth found

 

There used to be a verse about snow but the cocaine abuse advocacy people

put a call into the premier’s office

and got the song banned… in 70 countries

now your favourite weatherman can’t say snow

 

I sang about the baby Jesus what could be said about that?

Well UNICEF thought he was being exploited

and got the song banned… in all the countries

Including baby grands and prophets too

 

Elves resent their characterization

Reindeer demand emancipation

Angels hate It’s Wonderful Life

Mrs. Claus ain’t no pole wife

© Michael Worthington Music 2018

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