Horse Called Elmer
Falling apart like a Lego set breaks.
Don’t know how long a sunset takes,
but it’s burning down on me.
Pretty sure I was going to get older.
Great ball of fire on my shoulder.
Going to jump in the lake and sea.
You know I’m a horse called Elmer.
Don’t want to overwhelm her.
But my cannon’s killing me.
Who’ll Bear Witness to my long shot.
I can barely even hot trot.
Not long until the factory.
Yes, I’ll miss the lips I kiss,
the feeling and the fit
of harnessed hips, and reigns and whips,
of bridal parts and bits.
Hung like a Shetland pony.
That’s just soft macaroni.
Who’s Al Dente anyway?
Sounds like he may have been a mobster.
Handshake grip you like a lobster.
Wears concrete shoes in Georgian Bay.
Sired some fillies out of wedlock.
Feels like I might have snapped a fetlock.
Can’t no one put me down.
Patch me together with a glue stick.
Teach the old dog another new trick.
Bring a dog and pony to your town.
It may be a tacky proposition
while I jockey for position.
You see the catch 22?
They’re using what they’ll turn me into
to make a mustang from a pinto.
It’s a lucky brake horseshoe.
No foot ever in the stirrup.
Bootlick likes the maple syrup.
Flapjacks pissing on the Dalton Road.
Grandstand, winding up a new song.
Homestretch, what’s another furlong?
Got grilled last time I showed.
Finish, going to the photo.
Saddle bag counting on some big dough.
Keep your eyes glued to the board.
That’s me with a cheesy horse dip.
Beat them by a long face and a fat lip -
a gifty mouth that you ignored.
© AudSongs 2019